David Whyld
Email: dwhyld@gmail.com
Games by David Whyld
Neighbours From Hell
Everyone has bad neighbours. It's just one of those things. But surely no one in the whole wide world has neighbours as bad as yours. For you live next door to the Crumms. But are they really the sadistic murderers you suspect them of being? Or is the truth something different?
Added 07 Sep 2003
Reviews by David Whyld
Comment for Ultimate Escape
20 Apr 2008
My lack of "speach"? Hahhahahahahahaaha.
Comment for Ultimate Escape
17 Apr 2008
They're all crap if you've written them because you don't know the first thing about game writing.
And learn to spell "appalling". All your games are so it's a good idea to know how to spell the word.
Comment for Ultimate Escape
16 Apr 2008
"Every one's probably sick of my games by now"
Hell yes. When you write as many games as you do, and they're all equally bad, it's hard not to be sick of them.
Comment for hotel
04 Apr 2008
You sure take criticism well, Michael. Personally, I really hope you do go ahead and finish a game. The tantrums when people tell you how bad it is will be one of the year's highlights.
Comment for hotel
24 Mar 2008
Gamer, they might not be quite as bad as the swordmaster games, but they're still drivel. You'll only get good reviews when you start writing good games. If you're unhappy about getting bad reviews, you've only got yourself to blame for writing such tripe in the first place.
A good game isn't written in a few hours. You have to make a genuine effort with it.
Review of Where's Annabel?
01 Feb 2008
This one had an introduction at least, though the author
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Review of Cabin Fever
01 Feb 2008
As with Dr Froth
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Review of Assassin
15 Jan 2008
With my thirst for appallingly crap games satisfied
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Review of The tavern
11 Jan 2008
I must have been bored because recently I played an awful game and then, a few days later, I found myself wanting to play another. Now I could have been guaranteed a real stinker by picking one of the Sword Master games, but instead I decided to take a gamble and try a game by a new author. This ran the risk of me stumbling upon a decent game by mistake and being forced to write a review that was positive instead of negative, but I figured my chances were about 90/10 in favour of getting a truly awful game and about 10/90 in favour of getting one that was half playable. As it happened, this game fell firmly into the 90/10 category.
My god, but it
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Review of Doomed!
11 Jan 2008
The last game by Gamer (great name for a game writer by the way) unimpressed me so much I just had to try another. Has he improved since the masterpiece of game writing that was
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Comment for escape 2
09 Jan 2008
Just out of curiosity, is there anybody apart from yourself who actually thinks your games are good?
Review of escape 2
08 Jan 2008
The description for this game reads, and I kid you not, â
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Review of Hungry Goblin
05 Jul 2006
Blurb: "Feed the hungry goblin. This is a demo and not very big yet but is actually a complete unit. Treat your aim as "get into the tavern". Game runs out there!"
Descriptive Level
Descriptions were a little more verbose than most Quest games, but only a little. The game might go from a reasonably decent (by the standards of the last few Quest games I've played anyway) location description such as
YOU ARE IN A NARROW TUNNEL.
THERE IS A POINTY STICK HERE.
YOU CAN GO EAST, WEST, UP OR DOWN.
THERE IS A FAINT SMELL OF GOBLIN HERE. THE TUNNEL SLOPES UP TO THE EAST, WHERE THERE IS A SMALL GLIMMER OF LIGHT, AND DOWN TO THE WEST, WHERE IT GETS DIMMER.
to something like:
YOU ARE IN A CAVE ENTRANCE, BY A SWAMP.
THERE IS A FEARLESS DRAGON-SLAYER AND A CAMPFIRE HERE.
YOU CAN GO EAST, WEST OR DOWN.
Now the first makes an effort to add a bit of depth to the game (and succeeds), the second doesn
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Review of Lands of unknown
04 Jul 2006
Blurb:
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Review of One Robot
01 Jul 2006
Blurb:
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Comment for The Last Detective
26 Aug 2005
Considering the game's 10KB in size, I'd be very suspicious about the "two hours" of playing time comment.
Unless it was meant in the sense that "okay, the game's really small but there are so many errors in it you'll be struggling with it for two hours before you get anywhere".
Comment for Gumball Gary Leaves The House
06 Dec 2004
You have to admit it's kind of suspicious when really poor games get all these wonderful reviews, mostly from people who have never been heard of before.
Comment for War of Hyrule Castle
08 Oct 2004
I'd love to know just what criteria people are using to judge this game. I keep hearing phrases like "The puzzles are sheer genius" and "the layout is very professional" and "first class" which clearly don't apply to this game at all. When I played it, I noticed spelling and grammatical errors and nothing that I could recommend.
Are all these people either the writer under different names or his friends? Or are there really so many people out there who like very bad games?
It might be an idea for the IP address of whoever posts a review to appear alongside their name. I imagine it would show an alarming number of the people who have said great things about it are actually the same person.
Comment for Get Out of The House!
28 Sep 2004
Sahmn, it was certainly better than either of your efforts.
Review of Get Out of The House!
20 Sep 2004
I started this game fully expecting to give up within five minutes (a common thing when playing a Quest game) but I actually found myself quite liking it. It's not perfect - a long way from perfect in fact - but it's amusingly written and has some nice touches and seems, for the first time, to be a Quest game that might actually be worth playing.
The storyline makes little sense, although the game does tell you this to begin with. In short: you're in a house and must escape. That's the gist of it. In fact, that's the entire storyline from start to finish. Nothing particularly engaging but then engaging storylines aren't a requirement of text adventures.
The location descriptions are okay for the most part and a few have nice comic touches, but they're also a little jarring in that most of them begin with a short line telling you which location you're in and then, several lines further down, you get another line telling you which location you're in. There's also needless duplication of exits: they're nicely listed at the beginning of the location description so you know which way to go and then described again in the actual body of the text. Some of this might be the fault of the program but it's something that the writer should, and probably is, capable of correcting and really should have done.
Most static (non-moveable) items are described which is a refreshing change from other Quest games I've played, although unfortunately most of these descriptions are lacking in depth and often last for no more than a few words. The description of the TV is quite unusual in that it says "it's a TV
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Comment for Middle-Earth (full version)
02 Sep 2004
It's definitely "Rivendell".
Comment for Enterprise
31 Aug 2004
I'm actually amazed that someone can give this game 4 stars. The spelling was atrocious, the grammar was worse and the game was nonsense. It couldn't have been worse if the writer had set out to write a deliberately bad game.
There ought to be some kind of logic with assigning game ratings. 4 is a very good game; this is anything but.
Comment for Enterprising
03 Aug 2004
Great review there, Dave! If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were the game's writer under a different name.
Comment for Killer Syringe
13 Jul 2004
Sorry if that came across as a bit harsh but when you upload a game riddled with spelling errors right from the very start, you're going to have to expect some criticism. Sure, everyone makes spelling mistakes (I make them myself) but when two of the items in your game - poisen and cocain - are mispelled, it really doesn't do you any favours. Also, if the game's a demo you ought to say so.
Review of Killer Syringe
01 Jul 2004
A bad start to a bad game left me shaking my head in dismay. Bad spellings mar the game: poisen, corridoor, gaurds... Good grief, haven't people heard of spell checks? Or dictionaries? Or learning the English language before attempting to write a game?
I persevered a bit longer. I wish I hadn't bothered. In one room I was told "Bum and Hat are here". What - an actual bum as in someone's rear end? Or some beggar? Turns out it was a beggar. The game advises me to kill him for no other reason than he doesn't have a gun. Great morals there! Unfortunately I wasn't able to kill him as the "kill" command hasn't even been implemented.
This is the sort of "game" (for want of a better word) where you really have to wonder what was going through the writer's mind when he wrote it.
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Review of Enterprise
01 Jul 2004
Oh dear god.
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Comment for Neighbours From Hell
28 May 2004
Have you tried using compass directions?
Review of Posh's New Year's Eve
20 Nov 2003
Pointless would be the best way to describe this. The "game" (for want of a better word) understands a whopping five commands and you aren't even able to examine your surroundings.
It wasn't even vaguely exciting, although whether this is due to how poorly written the game is or the simple fact that I find Posh about as sexy as a slap in the face I couldn't say.
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Review of Uncle's Mansion
10 Nov 2003
Another appalling waste of space. Descriptions were practically non-existent (even when you're standing in front of something you're told it isn't there) and the game just was unable to hold my interest for more than a few minutes.
I imagine even the game's writer would struggle to find positive things to say about this.
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Review of Team Aurom's fight and other side quests
10 Nov 2003
Well, I finally got round to playing this "game" (for want of a better word) and wish I hadn't bothered.
Non-existent descriptions, no storyline whatsoever and an annoyingly large font that took up half the screen with just a line of text. If there was a blueprint for writing truly appalling games then this would be it.
1 out of 5 (and I'm regretting the fact that an option for giving worse ratings isn't available)
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Review of Enterprising
10 Nov 2003
Sorry to say but this was dire. Am I playing the same game as the other two people who reviewed it? If so, I must be really missing something because I found it to be terrible.
The standard of writing was the sort of thing a five year old would have been embarrassed at and most of the time it seemed to make so little sense that I found myself unable to keep playing it. The descriptions of the various characters in the game really left me wincing at times. An example:
"No really he's dead Jim, he is in one of those new insta-freeze chambers, your currently looking for a place that can bring him back."
Bad, bad, bad.
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Review of Mystery Quest
10 Nov 2003
Descriptions were sparse for the most part and the standard of writing wasn't, to be honest, very good at all. It wasn't a complete stinker of a game and was fairly easy to make progress with but I really couldn't recommend it to anyone.
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Comment for Life
31 Oct 2003
Considering that this game is a whopping 4 KB in size, I wouldn't have thought errors would *need* pointing out. If you've uploaded a game this small and not checked it thoroughly beforehand - which might have taken all of 10 minutes - then it thoroughly deserves every bad rating it gets.
Comment for Team Aurom's fight and other side quests
18 Oct 2003
Amazing that people I've never heard of before keep posting glowing reviews and ratings of 5 for Kidwonder's games.
I'd love to get your IP and his and compare the two...
Comment for Forgoten
06 Sep 2003
"this game is alright i guess, it has one varyable fight, unlike alot of theese games and its kinda fun i guess, you might have to peek in QDK though.."
Way to encourage people to play your game. Spelling mistakes, grammatical mistakes AND no indication of what the game is even about. If you can't even be bothered to write a proper description, why would you assume people would want to play your game?
